Hayley is a Ghost

You can shove your normal right up your…

Posted on: May 13, 2010

I’ve had a lot of practise at being considered not normal, weird or slightly odd. When I was about seventeen I told my mum, all matter of fact “I don’t dress like other people because I’m not like them, I’m not normal” because I’d had it drummed into my head nearly every single day from the age of fourteen that I wasn’t like other people. She wasn’t overly happy with my summary of myself and it left me a bit shocked that someone thought I was normal. It was akin to Millhouse on The Simpsons saying “my mum says I’m cool” but it still made me feel a bit more happy about who I was and who I am to this day.

I’ve mentioned before the “special class” I had to do at school because I didn’t fit in. Those classes didn’t really do anything positive to my view of myself at all. However, we did get a free McDonalds at the end of every term so I suppose it wasn’t all bad.

As time has gone on I’ve come to embrace my individuality, my quirks and who I am. My confidence has come on leaps and bounds and the difference between myself and other people is something I really like, rather than something I feel ashamed of as I did when I was younger.

Yesterday I was in the next town over waiting for an appointment and sitting on some public benches when I noticed three or four girls hanging around who were all wearing the same shoes and skirts with their school jumpers and had their hair in similar fashions and had similar back packs. It was terrifying, but I have come to learn over time that I’m not the only person who doesn’t fashion themselves to be like their peers which is quite comforting.

I then was browsing around Next because I had time to kill before my appointment and nothing to do and I was looking at a certain t-shirt that was quite nice and the sales assistant commented “Oh, those tops are really popular, everyone is buying them” and I couldn’t help but reply “well I won’t bother then if that’s the case”, Ok, so I didn’t actually have any money anyway and wouldn’t have bought it even if I’d wanted to but the girl had looked confused at my comment and so I mentioned to her “I find it depressing when everyone dresses the same” and she laughed and said “it’s just so they fit in.”

How depressing is that?

For numerous years I wanted to blend in with the cool people in my tutor group and classes but I could never pull off the way they dressed and acted because it just wasn’t me. I’ve always been a bit scruffy in the way I dress with messy hair and no make-up. It’s just how I feel comfortable. Don’t get me wrong – I love buying clothes, but not because other people are wearing the same. If anything, that actually puts me off.

I can understand why people are scared to stand alone as their own unique self but what a shame that we sort of live in a society where the opposite is thrust upon people as the norm. You must be like other people to be acceptable. You must wear the latest trends if you want to fit in, use the latest perfumes, have the latest mascara, have flawless skin and no spots, mustn’y have a podgy stomach, must have toned legs and nice hair and straight teeth, and the latest mobile phone and the most friends on facebook otherwise you’re not cool  and you’re not normal.

It’s all rubbish. I see hoards of girls who all dress the same or similarly and now, rather than wanting to be like them, I wonder if they realise how much they’ve camouflaged themselves. What a scary thought.

Rant over.


3 Responses to "You can shove your normal right up your…"

Illusions of true “individualism” are common, devisive and often incorrect.

Everyone is like someone else: shouting about belonging to a slightly smaller circle of conformity isn’t nessecarily something to shout about 😉

I know there are people like me. Something I’ve come to realise the more I’ve gotten involved in skepticism. It’s a scary thought and mum has banned me from inviting any of them around our house.

Awesome rant being one who also doesn’t conform to pop culture ‘norms’ and who also knows people increasingly similar to me i found this rant interesting and yeah to conform is to be culturally invisible or the same which is boring.

Do your own thing be as unique as you can for there is and always be, one of you.

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Hayley is a ghost

Hayley Stevens is an advocate for science-based research into seemingly paranormal experiences and occurrences. With a background in the pseudo-scientific research into ghosts, Hayley offers a unique insight into the strange world of ghost hunting through her experience.

She describes herself as 'a ghost hunter who doesn't hunt for ghosts' and this is her personal blog where she writes about ghosts, people, and other interesting things. Read more here.

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